It is the second day of vacation, and I for whatever reason am feeling very restless/anxious. I don't think that I am vacation retarded, but something more than that. I mean, here's what I did today:
1) Got 10hrs of sleep.
2) Made fresh guacamole for breakfast.
3) Journaled and read my Bible on the balcony.
4) Feel asleep by the pool.
5) Went to lunch and ate a delicious blackened grouper sandwich.
6) Played cribbage with my little sister and laid out on the beach.
7) Took a shower and got ready for dinner
8) Char-grilled Mexican Red Snapper, classic martini with gin, and a piece of mango cheesecake.
9) Wasted time on Facebook
10) Watched most of E.T. with my sister
11) Went and stood on the edge of the Gulf of Mexico for half and hour and just waited for God to speak.
Phew! What a stressful ordeal I have gotten myself into right? Haha, anywhoo here's my diagnoses thus far.
I want to move on to the next stage of life. With that being said, I have two stages to choose from (take that puberty, I'm moving on). The first option is being a very productive bachelor. Here I can learn how to not be as selfish with out actually having to take responsibility for anyone but myself. I can travel, work, and just live my life and continue to pursue being a man who is worth following, all on my own accord.
The second option is to find a wife, get a real job, and eventually have a family. I love kids, and am stoked on getting to be a father when I grow up.... or maybe just the father part. Being in Cancun all I see are honeymooners, families, and retired people. Yuck. But at the same time I keep thinking, "Man, if they can do it then so can I" and am now plagued with a crazy adoration of babies, only seconded by not being able to wrap my mind around the fact that some day (hopefully) I will make more than minimum wage and will be able to support a family and take them on vacation.
I stood on the edge of the beach, feet in the water, and simply prayed for God to speak to me. I recalled this time last year doing the same thing only on the other side of North America when I was looking out over Lake Superior and hangin with God then. I am not usually blessed with having any cinematic-esk God moments (which I am perfectly fine with actually) not do I expect them. What I mean by that is I have never had any crazy dreams, or heard an audible voice speak to me from the heavens or something along those lines. What I did get was the reassurance that the same God I sought at Lake Superior, all through out the year, and here on the shores of Mexico, is the same God that people like Abraham, Noah, and Moses sought during their lives as well. What more is a man supposed to do? Not worry so freakin much that what. My friend Jeff Bacon (who is totally on top of some mountains in Colorado right now) put it like this, "We are his sheep. He is the good shepherd. All we are supposed to do is eat, and follow. Our lives should be nothing more than an overflow of the relationship we have with God through his son Jesus." It sounds easy enough right? It's funny how it seems so very simple when you put it like that, and also shows how gosh darn stubborn and dumb I am when I can't even do two simple things. Eat and follow.
I feel much better.
Oh, totally random but I did get real close to a sea turtle when I was standing on the beach. I started following this dark brown shape and eventually was about a foot away from a gnarly old sea turtle!
Maybe God sent the turtle, knowing that I would be distracted and follow it down the beach, as a nice little way of saying "Don't worry you turkey, I will take care of you. Check out this sweet turtle I made!" Man, works every time! And yes, that probably sounds completely ridiculous, while being slightly humorous which is what I was going for. Now is it true? No. Could it be? Mabes. Either way it was mucho enjoyable.
Despite my horribly busy schedule, I will try and keep blogging this week!